My Life is Not My Own

 Sitting in church this Sunday, swaying and clapping to tongues I could not understand, hot and tired, the weight of what life –not a short term trip— in Uganda would be like unfolded itself before me. It’s not glamorous, it’s not always an adventure, it’s not easy physically, emotionally or spiritually. But sitting in church this Sunday, dusty from the walk, sticky with sweat, I looked around at the desire to learn in the women, the boldness used in teaching truth about hard issues, at the children who held my hands and laid their heads in my lap, I realized my life is not my own.

My life is not my own. Recently, I have been so preoccupied with my plan for my life that I haven’t stopped to asked God, “What do You want of me?”

God gives us freedom, he gives us choices and he promises to bless us when we love and obey Him. I think there are many good options that God would bless and walk with us through...But I also believe that He has a Best plan - one that requires dying to self each day. An adventure, a challenge, a struggle, but at the end a life worth living. Sitting in church on Sunday, I realized I want God’s Best plan, the one that I can’t dream up, the one that scares me, challenges me, the one that makes me trust and rely on him for everything.

Quite simply, my life is not my own.