I want to begin by confessing that this morning when I woke up, the last thing on my mind was the rest of the world. My alarm went off at the same time, I smashed the snooze button for just a little more sleep. I scrambled eggs, drank some milk and stared at my well-stocked closet for what to wear. Walking to work, I stopped at a coffee shop where I spent $1.75 for a cup of coffee to fight off the heaviness pressing against my eyelids. I opened my computer and my day began.
I work for a relief and development organization whose mission is to empower local churches throughout the world to care for the vulnerable in their own communities. I’m continually surrounded by facts and statistics, conversations about mission and vision, strategy and growth, development and empowerment…but sadly, I must confess that too often I loose sight of what all those things actually mean.
Maybe it’s a coping mechanism, maybe it’s apathy, maybe it’s a bit of God’s mercy…but whatever it is, I don’t ever want to become used to the broken things in our world. I hate the times when I forget this.
When I was a junior in college, I first heard a song called “Hosanna” that sparked a prayer which changed my life and is continuing to change my life. There’s a part where it says,
When I was a junior in college, I first heard a song called “Hosanna” that sparked a prayer which changed my life and is continuing to change my life. There’s a part where it says,
“Break my heart for what breaks Yours,
Everything I am for Your kingdom’s cause,
As I walk from earth into eternity.”
Each day that passes brings me one step closer to the day my time on this earth ends…life is so short, if only I remembered and believed that! How would I live differently? How would I give more generously? How would I love more selflessly?
What does everything that I am mean? All of me for a cause that is not my own but is so much richer and sweeter and deeper and terrifying then I could ever dream up. What does everything that I am look like in the context of my life?
“Break my heart for what breaks Yours.” Asking—inviting—God to break you. To take all those carefully guarded desires and dreams, those safety nets and comforts and take them, change them, break them, use them however He wants…This is going to hurt.
I’m learning that allowing God to break your heart for what breaks His is not a one time event…rather it’s a process that must happen over and over again.
Today, as I read about the drought and famine rising up in Eastern Africa, about the thousands of refugees fleeing their countries, about the tiny children too malnourished and weak to cry anymore, my heart re-broke. I’m ashamed to admit it had been too long since the last time I truly hurt for someone else. It had been too long since I’d opened my eyes—and my heart—long enough to see the brothers and sisters, the mothers and fathers, the sons and daughters in this world.
God, thank you for re-breaking hearts. Thank you for loving us enough to allow us to feel pain. It binds us closer to your other children and to You. But God, what now? How then shall I live? What can I do? Sometimes I just feel utterly helpless…
The only answer I can come up with at this moment is to ask You to use me; to give You everything I am; to be granted the privilege of being a part of Your plan to redeem creation. Let my life succeed to You. God…I know Your heart breaks more deeply and fully then mine ever could, I know You are madly in love with these people, your children, I know You are Mighty to Save.
“For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” 2 Chronicles 20:12
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